Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
third nipple confirmed
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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