I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
