his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
