are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
