dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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