i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize