i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize