we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize