Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
