Your tits are I can't wait for
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize