it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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