I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
