Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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