I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
