you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
