Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
