Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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