Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
