i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You are a genius and a whore.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
