i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
