i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
