I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
