come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
