i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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