I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
