I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
