I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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