So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
