I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
