You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
