did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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