Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
