he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
