i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
