dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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