I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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