Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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