And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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