i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
