I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
