So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
