im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize