I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My penis needs a shock collar
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
