Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
