How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
