haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
