Moan for me like Helen Keller
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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