Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
