I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
