Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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