My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize