NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
