she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
