I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
