she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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