I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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