This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
