His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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