yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
